She loves her husband but she did not want to 'Sex'

"I married over 20 years, happy and have two lovely children teenagers. However, I was never interested in sex, and sex of our very rare. "

"My husband was not at fault in this - he was always thoughtful - the problem is in me. Last year I was 40, and we did not have sex more than two years. My husband was frustrated about this, but I'll never be happy if "love" again. "

I know it is not fair, so I told my husband, I would not object if his silence to find another woman. But she's my best friend told me crazy, and my marriage would collapse, that true? Should I encourage my husband to find another woman, when I lost interest in sex? ".

This is a question submitted to a journalist, she is a specialist British sexologist named Rowan Pelling, and it is also common concerns of many wives or husbands are not interested sex.
"One thing is for sure your marriage will be broken if you have to push this situation - many times your husband wants sex, but was rejected again and again, " Rowan Pelling said.

"There must be concessions. Avoiding problems and hopes her husband will be satisfied with this situation is unrealistic, " she said.

"I declare that the ideal solution for your husband that you find your sexual desire was lost long ago. He was devoted to you for more than 20 years, which showed that men be faithful - others in his situation could have been another woman for a long time.

So my warning is: If you entered the path that you have proposed, you will have the possibility your husband will love other women.

Your mistake is in the arrangement is sharing your husband with another person, it is more difficult than you imagine. You can not summarize that all the hugs and love relationships friends is enough to create a good marriage, while your husband to sleep with another woman. The fact that some people do not want to sleep with her ​​husband (or wife), but also the inevitable jealousy and hurt when he went with others.

Any psychologist will tell you that the fundamental reason why women are jealous of emotional betrayal, is not physically betrayal (although it also makes women hurt) . I just hope that you will consider a reasonable risk that may occur.

also hope you have actually tried to measure the last to find your hidden libido. The counselor can help you, such talk about any previous moment you'll ever see sexual desire (for example, with former lover). Have you ever really satisfied yet? There are opportunities for you to rock back to life without sex?

However, if you really feel no doubt anymore about not being able to have a sex life again, I will not force you to give up your decisions.

Each individual has a level of sexual desire differences, and there is no standard value. I know some people who simply enjoys reading, gardening or cooking than do it. Lack of sexual desire becomes problematic issues in the case just like you - that is, in a sexual relationship that this person needs is not like the other person's needs.

Those who refuse can be accumulated resentment, and I believe, like many who had witnessed their own self-deception, that marriage can be saved if someone turned a blind eye to the partner to adultery.

I can not tell if you need to reinforce the inner strength to cope with a situation that other women in his life or not, but obviously, you have three choices: to witness the marriage of you die by the resentment of her husband, her husband plan to continue to look for 'flowers' - or bumping the life of your own sex "